**Attention: Caregivers of a Family Member With Alzheimer’s Disease**

Imagine what your life would be like to enjoy a social life, to have good vitality, healthy finances and enjoy the simple passion of dream… all from the comforts of your home!

If your loved one has Alzheimer’s Disease do you find that:

• You share in the care of an elderly parent with Alzheimer’s Disease and even though you help to transport them to doctor appointments you never seem to make your own appointments for preventative tests or for appointments when you are sick.
• You can’t remember the last time you went out to dinner with friends.
• You’re so busy with your job and helping out that your bills are late, or
• You haven’t been able to work due to helping your parent(s) and your money is low and your bills are late.
• You feel as though you just don’t have any passion in your life because you are so busy you can’t foresee anything getting better in the future.
• You find yourself eating all the wrong foods for your body because you are so busy. You are possibly gaining extra weight.
• You cannot eat at all. You are losing weight.
• What exercise?
• None of your friends or family offers you any assistance.
• It seems like it takes you hours to fall asleep.

Does this sound familiar?

I am so excited to tell you that CaregiverCafe.Com™ is here just for you!

Why wouldn’t I be excited? Just think about having some time to yourself, and being able to get out in the fresh air! Think about really taking the time to care for your own health, having the weight you desire and finding passion and moving towards your dreams. Wouldn’t it be great to once again get out with some friends, and stop putting your life on hold? I am sure that is exciting to you as well!

Do you feel like any of this list resonates with you?
You are not alone.

1. The truth is this: about 75-80 percent of long-term care of Alzheimer’s patients is provided by unpaid family caregivers.
2. Lots of caregivers in every aspect of their loved one’s situation feel the same way you do.
3. Even if family members are being cared for by hospital or nursing home, the family is still accountable for a large percent of the responsibility and life isn’t any easier.

At Caregivercafe.com ™, which is a first of its kind place for caregivers, you will get resources, gain knowledge, and actually find the friendship and camaraderie to take those first steps towards turning lemons into lemonade. It is strange to think of how there can be good coming from the challenges in your life. But you can come through this stronger, smarter, happier and more financially successful if you are a supporter for yourself as well.

How I went from 24/7 caregiving and no life to less caregiving and a life of my own!

Hi, my name is Lorraine Calhoun and I am a caregiver and the spirit behind the Caregiver Cafe.com ™. In the spring of 2004 I had been working part time as an Occupational Therapist and was also beginning to market my coaching business. I spent several hours a week as a helpful “designated” daughter to my elderly parents, helping with doctor appointments, learning about their finances and other things. It was enjoyable and an opportunity to spend quality time with both of them.

My mother lives with my dad in the house that they moved into well over 50 years ago. They have been married for over 60 years. My mother has Alzheimer’s Disease; at that point in time she no longer drove a car, but cooked and took care of the house.

It was May 14, 2004 when mom was hospitalized for chest pain, around the left side of her body. I went to stay with her because she was in so much pain and she was terrified and confused with the new environment of the hospital.

I sat all day in a chair; it was also my bed.

This went on the whole time she was hospitalized. I wanted to gently massage her to relax her and decrease the pain; I noticed some tiny blisters on her left side. I asked the nurse if it could be shingles; she blew me off. I showed the doctor the next day, and he took one look and said it was shingles. A few days later she was discharged to home.

In about a week the pain got worse and she developed a pain syndrome called post herpetic neuralgia; she lost twenty four pounds and was inconsolable with the pain. We took her to a pain specialist and she had home therapy to bring back her strength.

Just when I thought things were improving………….

I felt like our lives were beginning to start to become normal when on August 19 Mom fell and broke her right thigh bone, and required a hip replacement.

That set her back; she continued to have

• pain from the shingles, and
• a bedsore from pressure from lying in one position.

We brought her home and started all over again with the therapy and nursing through the hospital’s homecare. With the Alzheimer’s I couldn’t bear to send her to a nursing home for therapy; there is no place like home for someone who has memory problems.

I slept with her for six weeks due to the fact that I did not want her to get up and fall because she could not remember to use the walker. It was not easy to live again in my parents’ home. (Hey, I am sure they could say the same, that it was not easy having me there!)

I was cooking the meals, and supervising the therapy and helping her with her exercise. I could barely do my own work and study, which I did from home but really needed much less interruption in order to concentrate. In my study group I met a coach who specialized in chronic illness and Alzheimer’s disease, and I called on her to help me.

I was at a low point; I was crying every moment that I was alone, and I felt such anger towards other family members. (This is not my usual disposition; we are pretty congenial and easy going)

It got to the point where my husband and daughters came to my parents’ house, and took me out to dinner.

It was an intervention, sort of what they do to get help for people help with addictions. My sister stayed with my parents, my husband and daughters came and picked me up and took me out to dinner.

My oldest daughter, who is a physical therapist, wrote out the goals and a timeline for me to give more and more responsibility to my father for the care of my mother. My daughter stayed the rest of the weekend and helped prepare meals and set things up for me to spend increasingly less time there as the month went on.

• I was supported by husband and daughters
• I was supported by my new coach who was encouraging me to begin to let go; I needed to get on with my life.
• I was also supported by strangers, the new people I met in an Alzheimer’s Disease Support Group.

It did work.

Within just weeks, my life changed. My dad achieved all his goals and came through ahead of the schedule, caring for my mom on his own. My mom slowly showed improvement and had less pain. I was able to return to my own home and go several times a week to help my parents.

I thought I could do all of this on my own; at a time when you are really stretched you will come back stronger with the help of others.

At a time when things are tough, those challenges make you a stronger person.

What I needed was some creative thinking and problem solving.

Until I realized and understood what it takes to make me resilient enough to be able to bounce back, I would be stuck in the prison of my own ideas and perceptions of what I think I should do.

I am sure you dream about:

• feeling calm and relaxed,
• seeing friends and having fun,
  
• having time to pursue hobbies, and
  
• having enough money to live your life as you please
  
• have patience on a day-to-day basis while caring for your loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease.

Many of your friends and family have what you long for.

But is it really possible for you as a caregiver to achieve that level of personal success and gain the confidence you need to continue?

I often worried and wondered about that very question when I started helping my parents in a huge way, and my dreams seemed to drift further and further away.

Most caregivers feel as though

• their life is on hold,
• they don’t have time to take basic preventative care of their health, and
• their dreams were squelched when life-as-they-knew-it fell apart.

They keep putting their own needs last, not asking others for help, drifting away from friends, and becoming further and further behind with their financial health.

I can help you keep the dream alive.

You can be calm. You can be happy. You can be healthy. You can take time to meet with friends. You can once again earn money. You can find the time to exercise and eat healthy foods. You can also have a good night’s sleep. Hmmmmmm……………Can you picture it?

No one will tell you this: you cannot do it alone!

Conversely, if you set your intentions in regards to your own well-being and follow a few steps to keep you healthier, happier, add fun to your life and improve the health of your finances, your dreams will once again have no limit.

You will become YOU first, and “caregiver” second!

I figured out how to exponentially increase my resilience, feel supported by friends, and take back my life. I like this much more than if I whine and pout and allow the “martyr” or “victim” consciousness to take over my thoughts and my actions. It feels so much better to be self empowered, supported, strong and resilient, no matter what is happening in your life!

You can learn this process, too! I will share this with you shortly.

The Seven Steps I Learned…….. to Keeping Your Sanity While Caring For Your Loved One With Alzheimer’s Disease……. is Possible For You………….If You Can Hear This Message.

It wasn’t until I had a meltdown that I began to listen to others who were more objective, and had experience with these situations. I started out with old and preconceived ideas as to what my role as a caregiver should entail, WHICH WAS DOING EVERYTHING.

You see, I thought there was only one way, and my thinking was in a tunnel. It is one thing to assume what you might do if something like this happens to your family member. As we noticed problems with my mother, I really didn’t want to face it, but when that was no longer an option, I went the other way and did too much.

However, when you align yourself with other people who have been through this or others who are experts, you have a resource that is absolutely priceless. They can be more open-minded and creative than you may ever be at a time when you are emotionally charged with your situation.

If you allow yourself to be mentored by experts and those who have an open mind, you are actually influenced by the experience of many others and cannot fail. This can fuel your original subjective small thinking into objective, bigger and creative thinking, giving you more solutions and options to consider.

As I have gone through this situation of feeling trapped and not myself, three times so far, I have developed what I call my “7 Step Plan to Keep My Health While Caring for Others” (meaning health of body, mind, spirit and finances) which has benefits that go way beyond the role of caregiver. These concepts emanate into my business life as well as my personal relationships. It is a way of thinking bigger and it really works!

I have mastered these seven steps that you as a caregiver can use to survive………….and come through this experience……………….in some ways you can be in a better place than when you started.

Here are the 7 Steps I use. These are simplified and briefly discussed.

# 1 You have the courage to ask for help

Imagine yourself feeling supported by others….and feeling that you will get the assistance you need.

My friend and business mentor Michael Port says we cannot do big things alone. The same thing goes with caregiving. We need to exhaust our requests for help and think creatively about what forms that help can come to us in. For example, the forms could be in supportive phone calls, transportation and shopping assistance, making requests or phone calls for you, filling in for you, helping financially and other endless ways. You will learn there are many different options; each family is different, and there are as many options as there are challenges!

# 2 You learn to say “no”

Imagine what life would be like if you could say no to many things that you really don’t have the time for now, and NOT feel guilty!

Is the word “no” in your vocabulary? Do you think you would not be nice to say no to requests that are not a high priority at this time? You can have the courage to be clearer about what you do want. Perhaps you need to determine what your priorities are, and move on with your decisions from there. Have you ever said yes to a request because you thought you should and lived to regret it? Have you ever said yes automatically and mindlessly to a request, and lived to regret it? With many people and especially caregivers this is a new way of being that needs to be learned.

# 3 You have the courage to become aware of your thoughts

Imagine if all of your thoughts were empowering thoughts; how might your life’s path move forward in that frame of mind?

Are you aware that what you are thinking about today makes up your world in the future? Did you know that your thoughts and the quality of them can actually attract what your future can hold for you? Often times our thoughts are habitual; we feel bad about something and we let the thoughts color our whole day, or we let it incubate into a way of being that does not empower us. Caregiving is an especially important time to be empowered. It is a big relief to acquire this skill!

# 4 You have the courage to get rid of what is holding you back

Imagine you are no longer bothered by those little things anymore.

The day you became a caregiver life will never be the same. So why are you hanging on to the old when it is just tripping you up and holding you back from moving forward? One example of this is the idea of clutter. You may have been able to spend 15 minutes looking for your keys when you had no one but yourself to care for, but now the concept of streamlining your life will allow you to move through it with much more ease!

# 5 You will have the courage to become flexible and understand the concept of infinite possibilities

Imagine that you have many solutions for all your challenges; these solutions pop into you mind whenever you need them!

Deepak Chopra says that flexibility is the key to immortality. When we release old ways and embrace the unknown we become empowered to live with less clinging and open ourselves to the idea that there are infinite ways to look at each situation that is a part of our day and our life. We do not stay rigid in what could have been or what we thought would be, and bring out our creative ability to see many more options to each challenge. It is then that we can find much more happiness and peace even when our surroundings appear to be overwhelming.

# 6 You are courageously resilient through intention and stress reduction

Imagine that you can actually laugh at your life as it unfolds. You find happiness in the midst of upset and you find peace in times of chaos.

Resilience is the beautiful state of being that can arise when we think with an open mind, be flexible, and bounce back from adversity! Through resilience you will develop emotional strength, be immune to the influence of adversity, and develop your self leadership skills. You will find that you flourish and thrive, no longer feeling like a victim or a martyr but find you have the ability to transform hardship into good fortune.

# 7 You courageously say yes to self care

You are relaxed, well nourished, your body feels fit and your sleep is rejuvenating.

You can take an active and conscious part in doing what is necessary for the basis of good health. This is an active and intentional process, such as keeping appointments for preventative tests and checkups, and doing what is basic to being healthy such as eating well and exercising. This is basic to attracting health and well-being into your life. This sets a good example to our children as well. It is important to take care of yourself just for you, but also because others are depending on you. Just being a caregiver is a risk factor for stress related illnesses. Good health does not happen by default; it is a conscious process.

These seven steps create the big picture of success for a caregiver to come through stronger and better than ever!

Now you can care for your loved one and keep your health……….. And you can have that dream of the life you want all at the same time………..It takes the desire to take the steps……….You can do this along with a dedicated group of caregivers and myself…………..I am ready to share with you the complete method of my success so that you can once again have a dream…………………

One thing I have learned is that you just can’t sit and hope for better things to happen. You must go after them, surround yourself with other problems solvers who understand you and your situation. You need resources and educate yourself in the area of the illness of your loved one, and most importantly, also educate yourself around the ways to help yourself. You will find all of this as a member of CaregiverCafe.com

There are 4 qualities of caregivers that contribute to increased angst:

1. Not asking for help,
2. Being too overwhelmed to know what is best for you,
3. Incorrect thinking around emotional issues, and
4. Too much to do in too little time.

FACT: If you continue to operate at a high level of stress you will end up burning out. Caregiving is a definite risk factor for stress related illness, as stated by the Surgeon General. A caregiver’s primary role is to care for himself or herself. It is very individualized as to what is the limit for each person, but it won’t help to wait until you are a sick and or depressed caregiver, who is no help to anyone.

FACT: You can help yourself to come through this with support, education and action steps from the comfort of your own home! At Caregivercafe.com, you will find the resources you need to educate yourself, determine how to ask for help, how to keep yourself at your fittest level, how to reach out to others for support!

FACT: This group is not for everyone. It is not for those who are not willing to make changes, or to try new things. It is okay to be apprehensive or doubtful, but just be open minded and you will problem solve your way through this. It is for people who want to be big thinkers around the act of caregiving, and give it the same creativity that they give other areas of their life.

FACT: You have to be ready to learn and create your own success each day, each week, each month and each difficult challenge you come across. But, you can do it. You have to bounce back, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again!

If you are ready, or curious or intrigued to find the “blueprint” to a resilient and meaningful life, please keep reading…… Your visits to the Caregivercafe and the calls for the mastermind group will change your life in ways you can’t imagine………..

FACT: It is still important for you to attend an in-person support group if you have one available. But, it is impossible to learn all that you should in two hours a month in a group that you share with 10-15 others.

FACT: You DO NOT have to leave your home for this!

You do not have extra time or the energy level to leave your home for training. By eliminating the travel time and using the computer and telephone for your training, you can take the time at the scheduled appointments or whenever it is convenient through the miracle of recording and downloading to the computer and an MP3 player!!

You do have the guts, determination and fortitude; I have the plan. I will keep you headed in the right direction. We have the plan in a step-by-step format. I will help you to bring the steps together, and keep you moving forward. The power of the group is priceless when situations have you taking a step back, because the energy of the group and the power of it will help you move forward.

This program for caregivers at Caregivercafe.com is so comprehensive that it could be used for any situation, including your business life. But that is just a benefit. We’re focusing on the life that you want, right here, right now.

Yes, I would love to join the CaregiverCafe.com ™ membership! Please sign me up!

For 19.99 per month you will get all of this:

Access to the CaregiverCafe.com™ resource page; my personal rolodex for all the resources you need to educate yourself and find the support you need.

Access to the CaregiverCafe.com ™ recordings and transcripts of inspirational interviews of resilient caregivers and people who thrived at this challenging time!

Access to the CaregiverCafe.com ™ forum where you can submit questions, contact other members, build a strong network and be supported.

Access to my personal recommendations around caregiving and keeping your sanity in the form of downloadable pdf files and articles on the blog.

Holistic ways to improve sleep, diet, energy level and emotional well being included in the 7 step program. that you will learn during one monthly coaching call with the mp3 recording of that call if you are unable to attend live.

What if you could have:

• The courage to dream BIG dreams
  
• The knowledge and resources to build back up and support for all areas of your life
  
• A step by step formula designed to have you feel in tip top shape to handle all that comes into your life
  
• The peace of mind that you long for that allows you to concentrate on your dreams.
  
• Confidence to know when you are in need of assistance and the confidence to ask for it
  
• A good night’s sleep that has you waking up refreshed and ready to start the day
  
• Real camaraderie and support of others who know just what you are going through, and understand without you having to explain every detail 3 times
  
• A plan to help you move forward financially, tailored to your lifestyle.

Do You Wish You Had a Place To Go to Ask Questions, Learn Tips and Techniques From Someone Who Has Been There, and Have This Available 24/7…Without Leaving Home, and on a Consistent Basis?

Do you need more details?

Here is more of what you will learn in the CaregiverCafe ™!

Understand the disease process and what to look for
Alternative ways to handle the changes
What to be aware of so you can decrease difficult behaviors
What is stopping you from asking for help
The best ways to ask for help
The foods that will maximize your health and contribute to a healthy weight
How to relax your body and your mind
How to energize your mind
How to minimize and eliminate insomnia
How to become more resilient with moment to moment ups and downs
How to eliminate all that holds you back from moving forward

Okay, I Know That You are Grumbling Something Like, “How Do I Find the Time For All This?”

Actually, I know you are saying that because that is exactly what I thought when I was overwhelmingly busy with the care of my mother. How can I possibly find the time to go to a support group when I am so busy? How can I go to the gym when I have no one to help me?

There are many ways to get around all of the objections that you have if you use the power of the mastermind, and the power of flexible thinking, and not making quick judgments around your possibilities. You can challenge your “stories” or what you believe to be true.

When you join the CaregiverCafe.com ™ coaching club for people who care for relatives with Alzheimer’s Disease, you will dig deeply into that part of you that can problem solve creatively, and you will have the power of the group behind you.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS